STRUGGLING

There are no words for this...



I knew it was too late.
I knew he is dead.
I knew it for sure because the pull was gone.
I didn't feel any reason to be here beside him.
He wasn't there anymore.
The senseless need to be near him had vanished.

It seemed like I felt the pull from the opposite direction now.
The longing to get away from here and never go back.
Turning away, I walked.
So slowly, I couldn't feel my feet move faster.

This was it, then. The ocean of pain.
The other shore so far away across the boiling water that I couldn't imagine it,
much less see it.

I wanted to somehow pour bleach inside my head and let it fry my brain.
To burn away the images left of him.






Life sucks, and then you die. -- Yeah, I should be lucky.